May 5, 2009

I'm finding myself in such an odd mood lately. I can't even begin to describe how weird everything has been seeming to me. One minute I'm enjoying my day and the next minute I'm being overtaken by ghastly, meaningless thoughts. I'm worrying more than I've ever worried before, I'm slowly convincing myself that I'm having a nervous breakdown; I'm just a huge mess.

Today was an especially irregular day. I've done nothing but come up with excuses to be alone to do nothing but ponder on anything and everything. I find myself unbelievably quiet in a time of excitement. Lately I've noticed that I'm strangely confused about the simplest things, I'm acting completely uncanny and bizarre and I can't even explain why.

For the most part I've just become a totally different person within a few weeks.
I don't like it, all this changing so abruptly and what not. It's distracting and I want to change. I'm not mentally stable enough to take on this sort of adjustment. My frame of mind is definitely not where I want it to be and I wish I were as rational as everyone else.

However, Death Cab For Cutie is amazing and should be my best friends, they always seem to know what to say at the right time; sort of like Jesus.

Also, I need complete and utter honesty about whether or not I should get a tattoo. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I've wanted a sleeve for a few years or more, but I want everyone's opinion. I'm possibly going to start small and work my way around it and sooner or later I'll have what I want.
Considering the fact that I've never had a tattoo, I'm scared. I may start small (on my wrist maybe) with something like this:

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be nice but judge me constructively.