July 29, 2011

My legs dangle lifelessly over the bedside. I barely squirm toward the edge until my feet drop to the floor. I search for the power to open my eyes, my eyelids begging me otherwise, as if knowing the ruin they'd see. I convince myself that I'm alive and I barely feel my heart beating.
Everything turns motionless.
Everything toughens. Everything reverses. Everything hurts. Everything weakens.
I consider giving in.

Everything is imperative.
A sense of dread consumes my thoughts before I even perceive my aura.
I ache. I hesitate. I stand.
It takes me only a few drowsy moments to regain my strength then the pain begins. I slowly find my way to the bedroom door. With every step comes a yearn to turn around and fall back into bed. Nothing can harm me there. Nobody can harm me there.


I still blame you.